Suslick Step's
You're going to kill it today. High five!

Jun
19

Faith_Hope_Love 

Critical Thinking on Islam

Dale Suslick

Liberty University

Critical Thinking on Islam

Part one: Articulation of the Islamic Worldview

            The question of origin. Weider & Gutierrez (2011) say Islam teaches that Allah, alone and with no help, created the world and everything in it, including “all goodness, truth, and beauty” along with an evolutionary process (p. 63). The seven heavens and the earth are for humanity and their use.

            The question of identity. Humanity is a separate and special creation of Allah. Allah does not expect perfection and only holds people accountable to what they can control. Weider & Gutierrez (2011) say, “Man is a responsible, dignified, and honorable agent of his creator” (p. 63).

            The question of meaning and purpose. Humanity is to worship Allah and obey his teaching. The purpose is for a Muslim to carry out good deeds to outweigh the bad deeds and mistakes he or she makes. The practice of the five pillars of Islam determines if a Muslim is obedient.

            The question of morality.  With the study of the Qur’an and Hadish, a Muslim learns to lead a moral life. Moderation, practicality, and balance are the goal in every area of life. Besides any banned action or practice from Islamic teaching, it is up to each person to decide what is acceptable for oneself.  

            The question of destiny. Islam teaches of Paradise and Hell. Achievement of Paradise is through having more good deeds than bad deeds. There is no way for a Muslim to know if they have done enough good until after they have died. Entry to Hell happens because one does not accept Allah as god, nor follows his teachings. There are different levels of Hell. Certain sins, such as Shirk, guarantee his or her entry into Hell.

Part two: Compare and contrast Islamic and Christian worldview.

            The question of origin. Islam and Christianity agree that God created everything. Islam claims Allah acted as a singular God and theistic evolution is part of the process of creation (Qur’an, 71:13-17) while Christianity has evidence of God’s Triune nature (Mt. 28:19; Jn. 10:30; Acts 5:3-4) and defines creation as six literal days (Gen. 1-2:3).

            The question of identity. Both Islam and Christianity believe humanity is above animals (Qur’an, 17:44). Animals worship Allah, yet only humans and angels worship Christianity’s triune God (Ps. 150:1-6; Heb. 1:6). According to Christianity, God made humanity in His image (Gen. 1:26) and so loves His creation that He wants everyone to believe, repent, and come to Him (2 Pet. 3:9; Mt. 11:28).

            The question of meaning and purpose. Christianity is clear that a person’s purpose is to know God and Christ (John 17:3) and to explain Christ to others (Matthew 28:16-20). Weider & Gutierrez (2011) say “Islam is a works based religion” which means the purpose of man is to do good deeds to avoid damnation (p. 61).

            The question of morality. Halverson (2004) cites the Surah’s 7:8-9; 21:47 in saying Islam believes humanity is good and able to reconcile themselves by doing good deeds. Christianity believes people are hopeless sinners except by the Grace of God through belief in His son Jesus (Mt. 5:48; Rm. 3:28).

            The question of destiny. Christianity says Salvation and Heaven is available for anyone who believes in Jesus (Jn. 3:16; Mt. 20:28; 26:28; Lk. 22:37; Jn. 3:26; 10:9-11; 2 Cor. 5:21; Gal. 3:13; 1 Thess. 5:9-10). All of humanity falls short of the perfect standard of God, yet God still wants each person to be with Him (Mt. 5:48; Rm. 3:28; Rm. 3:23). Contrast this with the Allah of Islam, who sends the good to Paradise, yet does not love the wicked, defined as those with less good deeds than bad deeds, who go to Hell (Surah 3:139; 4:107).


 

References

Halverson, D. (2004). Islam: A religion profile from international students, inc. Colorado, CO: International Students, Inc. Retrieved from Liberty University Blackboard, Course Content, Reading & Study, Week 7.

Weider, L., & Gutierrez, B. (2011). Consider. Virginia Beach, VA: Academx Publishing Services, Inc.

 

 

 

Jun
04

10 Accountability Questions

1.     Have you spent daily time in the Scriptures and in prayer?

2.     Have you had any flirtatious or lustful attitudes, tempting thoughts,
or exposed yourself to any explicit materials which would not glorify God?

3.     Have you been completely above reproach in your financial dealings?

4.     Have you spent quality relationship time with family and friends?

5.     Have you done your 100% best in your job, school, etc.?

6.     Have you told any half-truths or outright lies, putting yourself
in a better light to those around you?

7.     Have you shared the Gospel with an unbeliever this week?

8.     Have you taken care of your body through daily physical exercise
and proper eating/sleeping habits?

9.     Have you allowed any person or circumstance to rob you of your joy?

10.  Have you lied to us on any of your answers today?

Time to say thank you!!!

Time to say thank you!!!

Jun
03

The goal of Christian life coaching is successfully moving people from point A to point B, thus creating sustainable God-centered change in their lives. Coaching can consist of a formal setting, much like a visit to a licensed counseling office. In contrast, coaching occurs in small group settings like Jesus and His disciples or in the “streets” like Jesus and the women at the well (Jn. 4:3-42, New International Version). The key is to remember God is ultimately in control and overrides human planning (Mt. 6:25-34). GROW, SWOT, and Symbolic Modeling models of coaching can offer a coach the framework needed to point clients to God. This discussion post will give an overview of each model and use this information to discover which model allows the coach to best stay connected to the Holy Spirit during the coaching procedure.

Photo courtesy of www.saintraymond.net

Photo courtesy of http://www.saintraymond.net

The GROW (Dunbar, 2010) model stands for goal, reality now, options, and will. Goal means to find out what the client wants. Reality is exploring the client’s current position. Options are the available choices to the client. “Will” involves discovering if the client intends to take action with the choices they have. This is a good model offering self-reflection for the client if the coach has excellent listening skills. A concern with this model is a coach could get overly involved in the steps and miss out from hearing the client or the Holy Spirit (Ps. 25:12).

SWOT (Dunbar, 2010) is a good exercise to do within the context of the GROW model. List the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats of the coachee and discuss during the “reality now” stage of GROW. Strengths and weaknesses apply to the client themselves. Dunbar (2010) calls these “internal factors” (p. 47). Opportunities and threats “Apply to outside influences” (p. 47). The SWOT is less of a method of coaching, and more of an exercise a coach can conduct to show a picture of the coachee’s state of affairs.

The symbolic model (Dunbar, 2010) of coaching is “clean language” communication. Dunbar (2010) writes the target is to get a client to start “Thinking about their thinking” (p. 50). This can produce new levels of comprehension in a client’s level of understanding. Because clients are strongly influenced by the complexities of their own life, coaches need to use a strategic questioning method to maximize client results.  Conversely, because each life involves complexities, issues, and events only experienced by that client, coaches need to remember asking questions are an art. This is the best model to get the coach and coachee closer to the Holy Spirit (Pr. 2).

GROW, SWOT, and Symbolic Modeling offer coaches a guide in their procedure to discover God’s will in their client’s life. Each model can get the client what they want. The more important question is how can a coach use the models to guide a client where God wants them. The coaching foundation starts with the art and science of asking questions followed with listening skills. Each model offers the coach the basis to ask questions and listen. Prayer (1 Thess. 5:16-18) and keeping the Holy Spirit close is critical in finding the best model for each client. The Symbolic Model gives a coach the most flexibility to allow the client to find God’s will and plan for their life. God is in control and overrides human logic, plans, and coaching models (Is. 55:8-9, Gal. 6:7-8).

Reference

Dunbar, A. (2010). Essential life coaching skills. New York, NY: Routedge.

May
16

Faith_Hope_Love

Why is it important to know what you believe and why you believe it?

People do not accept blind faith (Hindson and Caner, 2008). One must explain what they believe to skeptical people. Those who do not hold the same assumptions want proof. The disciple Peter says to set Christ in our hearts, get ready to give an answer, and speak with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15, New International Version). To know what a person believes gives one the skill to “defend [their] faith and answer the major objections to Christianity” (Hindson and Caner, 2008, p. 11). Knowledge of one’s belief can create excitement, appreciation, and value of Christ (Weider & Gutierrez 2011).

Identify what YOU believe about God, the Bible and Jesus Christ. Why do you believe them?

“God created the Heavens and the Earth” (Genesis 1:1). People who believe in Jesus, God’s son, are reconciled and forgiven of their sins towards God and have eternal life (John 3:16).  God shows Himself in the Bible and is the word of God (Norman, 2004). Dr. Norman (2004) says the Bible is one single story of “Redemption” (Section 4: The Testimony of the Amazing Unity of the Bible). It took fifteen hundred years to record the story. The Bible shows its accuracy with forty authors, sixty-six different books, and over five thousand copies telling one cohesive story.

References

Hindson, E., & Caner, E. (2008). The popular encyclopedia of apologetics: Surveying the evidence for the truth of Christianity. Eugene Oregon: Harvest House.

Norman, G.L. (2004). How can we know the Bible is the word of God? a religion profile from International Students, Inc. Retrieved from Liberty University Blackboard APOL104 Week 1: Reading & Study.

Weider, L., & Gutierrez, B. (2011). Consider. Virginia Beach, VA: Academx Publishing Services, Inc.

May
14

ElainaYou Should Clean Your Room

     There are two reasons why you should clean your room.

     The first reason why you should clean your room is when you change

your clothes, you can find clean ones. Put your dirty clothes

in the hamper! If you do not, you will have a big mess and will not be

able to tell what is clean and what is dirty.

     The second reason why you should clean your room is so you can

find your toys. Put your toys away! If you do not put your toys away,

and there is a fire, you could die!

     In conclusion, you should clean your room.

Elaina.

May
02

ElainaAmanda2011

You should share. There are three reasons why you should share.

     The first reason why you should share is it will make you a good friend. You want to be liked, so you should share.

     The second reason why you should share is it says it in the Bible. The Bible is God’s Holy Word, so obey it!!!

      The third reason why you should share is it is nice. People like other people to be nice.

      In conclusion, you should share.

Authored by Elaina Suslick (9 and 3/4; Picture from Madison Farmers Market when she was 7).

May
02

Fear of Aging and Death

Dale Suslick

Liberty University

Abstract

The purpose of this paper is to explore fear of aging and death. People who live will experience aging and death. People have positive and negative beliefs on aging and death. The first section of this paper looks at factors that cause negative attitudes of aging and death. The second section focuses on those with positive attitudes of aging and death. Throughout the paper, evidence points out simple action steps people can use to cut fear of aging and death.

Keywords: death, aging, fear

Fear of Aging and Death

            Aging causes varying levels of fear, anxiety, and apprehension in each person. Biosocial, cognitive, and psychosocial changes as one ages cause people to realize their own mortality. Attitudes of aging and death go together, because as people get older they are concerned with their own mortality (Benton, 2007). Research shows negative, indifferent, and positive aging attitudes among people. These attitudes highlight health, relationships, productivity, and faith as important to embrace aging and death as part of life’s journey.

Negative attitudes produce fear of aging and death, and poor health relates to people’s negativity (Ron, 2007). Oswald Chambers (1915) wrote:

There is nothing, naturally speaking, that makes us lose heart quicker than decay – the decay of bodily beauty, of natural life, of friendship, of associations, all these things make a man lose heart, but Paul [He wrote fourteen books of the Christian Bible] says when we are trusting in Jesus Christ, these things do not find us discouraged, light comes through them. (p. 9)

One hour of moderate exercise per day has shown to have health benefits. Healthy eating choices, moderate amounts of sunshine, black coffee, and regularly scheduled doctor appointments help support health and fitness levels and add years to one’s life. The Dr. Oz Show (2013) website allows users to browse for topics and find information on a variety of health topics related to aging.

A second cause of fear is from a negative life attitude. Those who are positive early in life tend to stay positive as they age, and negative people tend to end up negative. People adapt their new experiences into their mindsets. People tend to gravitate towards the familiar, because the unfamiliar needs more energy, although people can change (Ron, 2007). Research showed that “Seventy-five percent of all the research subjects changed their [aging and death] attitudes, one way or the other” (Ron, 2007). People who held negative aging beliefs in their youth turned positive as time passed. Those who were indifferent in their attitudes about aging were least likely to turn positive (Ron, 2007). Evidence shows people do not believe they change as they age. For example, the typical eighty-year old thinks he or she is in a younger stage of life. Those who want to live with less fear of aging and death need to find ways to create positivity in their lives (Pope, 2013).

Negative attitudes occur because a lack of planning can cause frustration. Natalie Pope (2013) found people did not consider aging until friends, family members, or themselves are affected. Caregivers and the aging were slow to adapt to new realities because they were unprepared. People who plan for getting older cut fear. This applies to both the person aging and the caregiver. Fear is reduced when long-term care insurance, funeral arrangements, and living wills are in place. One daughter reported her mother’s positivity related to “She knew where she was going” (Pope, 2013). People with a plan have direction, and direction reduces fear. Focus on day-to-day tasks, striving for financial security, or pursuit of hobbies take time away from planning (Ron, 2007).

People’s ideas of aging show common themes among the young and the elderly. Society places value on youth, speed, and winning, which tend to diminish with age. The elderly part of society is a larger segment of the population susceptible to stereotypes of aging, which may lead the elderly to adopt the negative stereotypes of aging. Sick, depressed, or slow are several of the stereotypes mentioned (Ron, 2007). Because America attacks its aging population with a message of unusefulness, the aging population begins to accept it as truth (Roth, 1978). Elderly people tend to view others as old, which allows them to cope with aging, as they label older people with the stereotypes of aging. Excessive meditating on aging and death creates negativity in people, and those who try to understand why old age is negative tend to have fear of old age (Ron, 2007).

Cognitive ability decreases as one ages because nerve tissues decrease, which impairs learning and memory. The brain does not work as it once did as learning is slowed, and loss of memory increases fear in people as they age (Villeda, 2011). Those who learn to adapt, accommodate, or assimilate the new reality gain positivity towards aging and death.

People with indifferent aging and death attitudes did not plan because they focus on daily survival, difficult life issues, or things other than aging and death. Research shows their mindset turned negative, and they experienced fear when confronted with aging and death (Ron, 2007).

Joy during the later years of life occurs when one takes time to assimilate or accommodate the new information. As people start to experience aging, they gain a new perspective. A change in perspective can shift one’s perceptions. Elderly people discover aging is not what they once thought (Ron, 2007). Effects of aging in a person are unfamiliar, and unfamiliarity causes fear, anxiety, and apprehension. Fear of the unknown can disappear once someone has experience. Comprehension that each new life stage has a period of adjustment and giving oneself time to adjust is important. As people age, they show less anxiety towards aging and death. People learn to cope with aging and death by exposure to their friends dying and increasing conversations with their peer groups (De Raedt, 2008).

Natalie Pope (2013) found remaining active, exercise, and maintaining health keeps people positive. Pope wrote of one of her research subjects:

Eva, a former ballerina committed to diet and exercise, said she still felt ‘‘extremely young’’ at age 63 with her mother being 96 and her grandmother living to be 103. Looking ahead she reflected, ‘‘If I age as good as my mother, I realize it is going to be a nice, long life.”

Fitness is a response to seeing older people struggle with walking as they age (Pope, 2013). Exercise, eating healthy, and plastic surgery are reactions to fear of aging. Old age, death, and mortality are out of mind when one looks young (Benton, 2007). Villeda confirmed exercise helps reduce the negative physical effects of aging (2011). Positive attitudes of aging and death arise from maintaining physical capacity. The benefits extend to mental health and increased self-esteem (Roth, 1978).

Self-esteem correlates with relationships and productivity. As people age, they learn to get self-esteem from within, although it takes a daily effort to stay positive. As people age, they experience a loss of cognitive and physical ability, respect, and friends. People need to prepare for work and activities they can do later in their lives to create self-worth (Benton, 2007). When work ends, and experience becomes viewed as a liability, this lowers self-worth and positivity that requires new avenues of self-worth (Benton, 2007). Elderly do better when shown respect from younger people, and removal of the youth from their lives is harmful. Self-esteem remains high when using talents and gifts, learning, and remaining productive (Roth, 1978). Natalie Pope’s (2013) research agrees that as people age, staying busy, being involved with others, and remaining productive are important to positivity.

People struggle with suffering. In particular, the loss of independence, loneliness, and quality of life is what concerns the elderly (Pope, 2013). Religious faith can help one stay positive as aging occurs. Health, relationships, and productivity will fail to keep the elderly positive throughout their entire lives. Benton found one perceived losses as he or she ages. Humans have a remarkable capacity to get educated on aging, which allows tolerance and understanding of others, although not for themselves. Religious faith could keep one positive as they age and approach death.

The ability to make societal contributions can keep people positive, but fear returns when people can no longer contribute. Religious faith is the way to stay positive. As Pope reported in her research, knowing where one is going keeps one positive (2013). Relationships end, health fails, and productivity ceases. When one thinks through aging, no coping mechanism of plastic surgery, endless learning, or relationship building, except with God, will stay until the end of aging. Death strikes each person. Roth’s (1978) research begins with “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2).

Hope and encouragement are important, and Christ provides this for people. Those with fear of aging and death could embrace a biblical or secular worldview. A secular worldview finds its encouragement in practical and commonsense solutions. Plastic surgery, exercise, or self-help provides temporary relief. For example, the secular message claims that as one advances in age, he or she can have plastic surgery, and look young (and by implication, alive) forever. Drugs and therapy can cut fear of aging (Roth, 1978). A hip replacement surgery can bring relief to pain, which gives the impression of youth. Continual learning, new work or worthy volunteer activities can increase one’s level of productivity. The problem is time and aging catch up with any secular worldview invention (Tripp, 2013). Pope’s (2013) research found a common theme in her study. One participant, Evelyn, summed up those studied when she said, “No big deal to tell somebody how old I am. That does not bother me—being incapacitated does’’ (p. 5). No one escapes this fear. People’s fear has to do with the manner of aging instead the actual event of dying. People self-report low death fear, yet none were ready to die.

There was evidence of less death anxiety for those with religious faith. When people age, they focus less on long-term goals. Building a career, financial security, and competition are exchanged for daily living and decreased concern of future threats (De Raedt, 2008). Matthew 6:25-34 is the “birds of the air and lilies of the field” parable and tells people the positivity they receive from their focus on eternal things. Each person will end up incapacitated, and the hope to eternal positivity is in a relationship with Christ. The apostle James wrote that suffering is part of life’s journey, riches will not satisfy, and Christ alone provides everything for a person (James 1:2-12). The power of a positive mind frame is a biblical principle (Philippians 4:8). It is important for the elderly to find the hope and encouragement Christ provides.

No person escapes aging and death, although people do what they can to deny and cope with their mortality as long as they can. Israel’s King Solomon wrote that one could gain wisdom from people who have experienced getting older (Ecclesiastes 1:9-11). Levels of fear, anxiety, and apprehension are different, yet exist in each person. Positive attitudes can cut fear of aging and death. Maintaining, developing, and improving one’s health, relationships, and productivity help one stay positive during this last life stage. Faith in Jesus Christ is the eternal positive step one needs to take (John 3:16).

References

Benton, J.P., Christopher, A. N., & Walter, M.I., (2007). Death anxiety as a function of aging anxiety. Death Studies. 31(4), 337-350. DOI: 10.1080/07481180601187100.

Chambers, O. (1915). The quotable Oswald Chambers (ed. McCasland, D.). In The place of help: God’s provision for our daily needs. Grand Rapids, MI: Discovery House Publishers. Retrieved from http://www.dhp.org/Images/PDF/BW382_sample.pdf

De Raedt, R., & Van Der Speeten, N. (2008). Discrepancies between direct and indirect measures of death anxiety disappear in old age. Depression & Anxiety. 25(8), E11-E17. DOI: 10.1002/da.20336.

Oz, Dr. (2013). http://www.drmercola.com

Pope, N. (2013). Views on aging: How caring for an aging parent influences adult daughters’ perspectives on later life. Journal of Adult Development. 20(1), 46-56. DOI: 10.1007/s10804-013-9155-9.

Ron, P. (2007). Elderly people’s attitudes and perceptions of aging and old age: The role of cognitive dissonance? International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry. 22(7), 656-662. DOI: 10.1002/gps.1726.

Roth, N. (1978). Fear of death in aging. American Journal of Psychotherapy. 32(4), 552.

Tripp, P. (2013). Sex and money. Wheaton, IL: Crossway.

Villeda, S.A., Luo, J., Mosher, K.I., Zou, B., Britschgi, M., Bieri, G.,…Galasko, D. R. (2011). The ageing systemic milieu negatively regulates neurogenesis and cognitive function. Nature. 477(7362), 90-94. DOI: 10.1038/nature10357.

Apr
27

2013-03-29 16.02.24

I like snow!

There are three reasons I like snow.

The first reason why I like snow is you can have a snowball fight. It is the only time of the year you can throw stuff at each other [Dad note: Whatever. The kids throw and break stuff in and outside of the house year round].

The second reason is because you can have hot chocolate. You can have hot chocolate because it is cold outside [In Florida, this is when it is under 75].

The third reason why I like snow is because you can make big things. You can build a house outside [This is possible on the beach or with cardboard boxes].

In conclusion, I like snow.

 

Apr
24

TV is Good for the Family

Dale Suslick

Liberty University

TVclassic TVfam

Abstract

The purpose of this paper is to show the positive relationship between television watching and family relationships. When television originally arrived in homes, it had a bonding effect for families. Television is here to stay. Television is one medium that can bring families together. The first section of the paper will discuss the history of television. The second section of the paper summarizes recent changes to television and its importance to families. The third section of the paper will explore the positive benefits of families watching television together. Throughout the paper, evidence points out that engaged parents can lower the risks and maximize the rewards of television.

 

            Keywords: television, family, TV, educate, spiritual formation, children, parenting


TV is Good for the Family

            Television is approaching its one-hundredth birthday and continues to appeal to ages one to one hundred and eleven. It is important to understand where this medium came from, what is changing, and how to use television for family bonding, education, and spiritual formation. The media and parents give television credit for destruction of family life, murder, and the education crisis. Finger-pointing, blame shifting, and lack of personal responsibility take attention from the real problem. The issue is a lack of parental engagement. Television is ubiquitous. Inside homes, at restaurants, and laundromats, you find televisions almost everywhere you turn. There is a need to understand how to properly gain the television’s rewards while minimizing the risks. Photos 1 and 2 show how to use television viewing for good (see photos page 9). Mom and dad are with their children and engaged with their family. Viewing time can create strong relationship bonds, educate, and aid in spiritual formation of children and parents.

            Television is neither good nor evil. Television and money are similar. Both can get used for good or to waste a life. The value of television depends on engaged parents. Television developed during the 1920’s when the world’s best scientists, inventors, and engineers worked together as a team. Television’s pending arrival created excitement in the 1920’s (MacDonald, 2009). MacDonald wrote, “With the imminent availability of television as entertainer and edu­cator, public leaders foretold its future impact on varied aspects of American life” (2009).

There was great anticipation for television in the 1930′s, but the Great Depression and World War II diminished the speed in which television was placed in America’s homes. NBC began regular television programming on May 3, 1939 (MacDonald, 2009). For the early adopters scenes, as in photo 1, were the beginning of the rewards of television. Television growth slowed during World War II. MacDonald tells us the programming focused on serving its county with “much of [the programming] time…spent with military recruitment, appeals for War Bonds and the March of Dimes, boating education, and other public service matters” (2009).

            Television is battle tested and ready to serve families in America. At times, television gets the blame for poverty, drug use, and crime. During times of attack, those with knowledge of the positive effects of television are willing to fight. MacDonald quotes NBC’s 1970’s president, Herbert S. Schlosser, who noted the positive effects of television:

Many studies have shown that poverty, drug addiction, and urban decay are most responsible for the nation’s rising crime rate. Television did not create these conditions. On the contrary, it has been a prime instrument in focusing public attention on them with great impact.

(2009, Increased public debate, para. 8)

Television can make families aware of issues in America, but what children need is a mom or dad willing to discuss the issues. Awareness of issues can focus attention on problem areas in society. Mom’s and dads who are willing to discuss issues relevant to the child can have a positive effect in the child. This rewards society with children who are more capable of success in today’s world.

            Without parents at home to engage with children, you lose the positive benefits of television. Dual income families are increasing at the same time television rises in popularity. The US Census Bureau says, “In 2002, only 7 percent of all U.S. households consisted of married couples with children in which only the husband worked” (Population Reference Bureau, 2003, para. 1). In 1980, there were 1.7 televisions per home compared with 2.6 in 2005 (US Census Bureau, 2008). Televisions are increasing in the home, while, at the same time, parents are not at home. The problem is few parents check viewing, which increases the risk of television. Risks include excessive viewing time, which can lead to obesity (Zerbes, n.d.). A 2010 New Zealand study confirms the need of parental involvement. In summary, engaged parents can lower risks and maximize the rewards of television (Dorey et al.).

In 1985, MTV was a popular music television channel, and I was in high school. My dad worked in Chicago during the week, which was three hours south of our home. My mother took a job at Burger King during this time. Without mom meeting me at home after school and dad working out-of-town during the week, I did not use my time in a productive manner. MTV guided me to the sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll mindset. Dire Straits sang, “Money for nothing and chicks for free” (Knopfler, M. & Sting, 1984). I did not spend time studying and mom or dad did not know. My television viewing was missing guidance.

For example, if my mom or dad heard the lyrics of the song while sitting with me during the video, they could have used biblical truth to counteract the message of the song. The song can teach one to objectify women and to glorify money. What I needed from mom and dad was to know there are women who are a blessing (Proverbs 31:10-29 NIV) and other women who are not (Proverbs 23:27). Television often glorifies money, which can open dialogue that money can curse (1 Timothy 6:10).

Today, the world is smaller than in the days of my high school years. People live across the world, and technology facilitates relationships. Researcher Maryam Zerbes says, “[Television] helps people to learn about other cultures” (n.d., Positive effects of TV, para. 3). One is better able to understand global needs when seeing how other cultures live, work, and worship. As a parent, one can discuss, share, and understand perspectives of the world through television.

The world of television has changed. For example, on cable and YouTube, one can find individualized news, current events, historical and cultural programs, documentaries, and micro reality shows. Parents must share the viewing experience and discuss topics. This is not the 1950’s viewing experience because there is more sex, violence, and mature themes. Photo 1 shows how television started as a viewing experience in the 1950’s. Photo 2 shows that today’s viewing can remain as safe as the 1950’s when parents are engaged in the home. Outside the home, the challenge is greater than the 1950’s because YouTube brings television to any smart phone. One reason parents give young children phones is for safety. Remember, with this comes television while riding the bus home.

Television lets children experience things most parents prefer their children not see such as violence, stereotypes, and mean behavior (University of Michigan Health System, 2013). Children have these same themes at school. Knowing what children watch, spending time with them, and discussing what it means allows parents the opportunity to guide their children. This guidance helps children make sense of their world. Television is good for starting discussions. Families who share television viewing times can discuss topics and themes, that otherwise can remain hidden in the school lunchroom.

Last week, our family was watching E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. Aubrie, my bleach white haired three-year old daughter climbed into my lap. Moments later, Caden, my rugged six-year old only son followed. E.T. said, “Phone home” on the screen in front of us (Spielberg & Mathison, 1982). Caden asked me why E.T. was sad. I explained E.T. missed his mom and dad. This was a special moment for this dad, because there is a sweetness available to parents who take the time to engage with their children. Without parental involvement, television is not much of a bonding, educational, or spiritual tool. Television is good for families if parents engage with their children. Viewing time can create strong relationship bonds, educate, and aid in spiritual formation of children and parents. The key is for parents to watch with their children, ask questions, and engage in discussions on the subject matter.

           

References

Dorey, E., Roberts, V., Maddison, R., Meagher-Lundberg, P., Dixon, R., & Ni Mhurchu, C. (2010). Children and television watching: A qualitative study of New Zealand parents’ perceptions and views. Child: Care, Health & Development. May2010, 36(3), 414-420. DOI: 10.1111/j.1365-2214.2009.01031.x.

Duncan, A. (2013). Halloween activities for kids: 6 non-scary ways to have Halloween fun with your children [Online image]. © David Buffington / Getty Images. Retrieved from http://stayathomemoms.about.com/od/halloween/tp/Halloween-Activities-For-Kids.htm

Knopfler, M. & Sting. (1984). Money for nothing [Recorded by Dire Straits]. On Love over Gold: Live) [album]. London, England: Straitjacket Songs Ltd.

MacDonald, J.F. (2009). One nation under television: The rise and decline of network TV. Retrieved from http://www.jfredmacdonald.com

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Apr
05

Successful life coaches are excellent at asking questions. This post answers four questions about goals, goal setting, and obstacles in setting goals.

 

1. What is the importance of goal setting in Life Coaching?

Gary Collins says, “Planning can be useful, especially if others are involved” (Collins, 2009, p. 203). Goal setting fuels action, inspires, and is like shooting with a bow and arrow. Goal setting gives you a target to shoot at, something to aim at, and hit. From goals, create action steps. Consistently take action steps over time and to create results. God is in control; however, goal setting gives direction to dreams, visions, and missions (p. 208).

Having goals establishes a plan. Having a plan is smart; not having a plan, not smart. Limited are human plans; however, useful to get you moving (p. 203). Goals give you the target. Without goals, you can want to grow in your faith, have a dynamic marriage, and create financial success; but without goals, people miss the target.

 

2. How does a life coach work with a person to implement a plan to achieve goals?

           

            There are four overlapping steps to successful coaching: Start with becoming aware of the present and the client, focus on the vision for the future, plan, set and reach the goals and deal with obstacles in the way (p. 165). Collins inserts a seven-step goal-setting plan on page 207:

One: Clarify and agree on the desired outcome.

Two: Put goals on paper. It is fine to revise goals.

Garfield via Rapha-chan.

Three: Start with the desired outcomes; work backwards, mutually brainstorming interim goals.

Four: Agree about which of these alternative interim goals you will pursue. Recast each of these as SMART goals: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and deadlines.

Five: Arrange the agreed-upon goals in order of priority starting from the first and most realistic.

Six: Write down indicators that show when each goal is hit. Do this with at least immediate goals. The others come, as you get closer to the end goal.

Seven: Put this list on paper

Goals need to be planned out, on paper, on purpose and before the day, week or time begins.

 

3. What are some obstacles that the life coach and the client could run into when setting goals?

One difference between successful coaching and failure is the ability to make goals, start, and stick with the plan over time. Adjustments of goals and the plan are important. Pray for wisdom, discernment, and the Holy Spirit to guide (p. 208). Goals not big, hairy; nor audacious (BHAG’s) can lead to failure (p. 209). Coaches who blame, scold, or judge can slow down or stop progress (p. 211). Examples of external barriers to success include distracting life events, no accountability and energy drainers (p. 222). Internal barriers to success include fear, boredom, and no place for God (p. 227).

 

4. What are some ways to overcome these obstacles?

 

            When driving up the mountain of life, massive boulders can block the path. When it happens, slow down, stop if needed, and find a way past the obstacle (p. 230). It is important to recognize obstacles exist. Ask a series of questions to overcome obstacles. Think ahead and ask when are barriers likely to appear? What has worked in the past when a similar situation arose? What things are not going to change (p. 230)? Coaches who are confident, encouraging and allow God to lead can overcome obstacles.

Reference

Collins, G. R. (2009) Christian coaching (2nd ed.). Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress

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